Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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