Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
