I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
