I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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