god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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