Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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