walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
