Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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