you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
