apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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