I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you didnt know i had herpes?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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