To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
