just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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