so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We need to rekindle our bromance
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
