hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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