I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
