garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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