It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
