I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
