If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
