Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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