yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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