we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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