You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
