So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So much rum. So many feels.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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