scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
