Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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