Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
