5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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