i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
