Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
