WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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