My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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