I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well I just put wine in my tea
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
