just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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