dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Randomize
