PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
