I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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