I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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