she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
