Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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