You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think a kid would responsible me up
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
