I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
