i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize