Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
