I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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