White coat. Heels.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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