Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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