so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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