Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
