Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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