Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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