Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
