i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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